Right Where You Belong (response)

Do you have a sense of place?  Do you feel as if the place you are in is the place you want to be?  Are you rooted in your place?  We often don’t pay enough attention to how we feel about the place we are living in, but there are some dramatic findings in the article below from Melody Warnick suggesting substantial health benefits from being rooted to a place.

This April I drove to Florida with my wife to visit my older brother whom I had not seen in many years.  As much as the visit was about reconnecting (a real consideration given that I’m nearing 50 and he is nearing 60) it was about indulging my sensation seeking side that wanted/needed to see new places.  As we traversed Northern Arkansas headed East we passed through many small towns each with a sense of place.  Not a sense of place that I could personally connect with, but which exists no doubt for those who choose to be in these fairly rural areas.  Further along in the trip we would pass through Memphis, TN, Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia before finally hitting the tropics of Florida.

One of the interesting things about road trips is the level of homogenization that exists in America.  In just about every town or city one sees the same Cracker Barrel, McDonald’s, Wendy’s, and other major chain restaurants.  Sometimes it feels as if you haven’t actually crossed hundreds of miles, but the fatigue factor and the odometer beg to differ.  In each of these towns there is always one interesting thing that catches the eye passing through whether it be an interesting house, signs for something intriguing, or an oddity (like the way Georgia has installed high fences next to its interstate roadways, I assume to minimize car/animal accidents, by the way thanks Georgia!).  In some places (especially the larger cities) I am always struck by the notion that asks “why would anyone want to intentionally put up with this insane traffic?”  Yet, they do or at least this is where they have found themselves to be and perhaps accepted as home.  Being a strongly empathetic HSP I am forever receptive to how a place feels.

There are very few times in my life when I have felt a sense of home, place, or rootedness.  One I recall is when I was growing up in my hometown when my neighbor friends would all gather at one house and enjoy just hanging out on a Friday or Saturday evening.  There were varying ages in the group from early 20s to preteens, but there was a sense of place, of community, that eluded me for many years and for which I have sought to retrieve.  Later, during my time in the military occasionally I felt a sense of community, but that was, for the most part more about being on the same journey as others around me than truly finding and enjoying community.  I did, however have a best friend who stayed with me from basic training all the way to Germany and back to Fort Bliss over three years.  Our sense of connection was in a shared out of place feeling we both felt about military life.

Returning to my home town I thought I would be returning to that sense of community I had felt when I was younger, but I found that the feeling was instead coldly different and I felt distant from the prevailing attitude of the town.  Perhaps as a result of having traveled to vastly different foreign lands I now found that my home town held no appeal.  I think that’s fairly common.  Much later, after a marriage, four children, a second wife, and a PhD we moved two hours South of my home town to a bigger area ostensibly with more to do, better schools, and proximity to greater cultural and entertainment offerings.

Saint Augustine Beach, Florida

  Interestingly, though I can say I have enjoyed certain aspects of this new area I still miss feeling a sense of place (what the article calls place attachment).  The feeling of “yes, this place feels like a place where I can be!” is missing.  Returning to our Florida trip, on the way home, we decided to stay overnight at Saint Augustine (30 minutes south of Jacksonville in the Northeastern part of the state on the coast) and, while touring the small, historic town on foot at sunset I felt an incredible sense of “Yes, I could totally live here!”

I think it was the combination of gorgeous, old historic architecture, the art galleries, and

“This is a place I could live in…”

odd curiosities found throughout the town.  More than that though I noted people smiling and enjoying themselves as they walked about.  I admit the charm of the little town captivated me and won over my aesthetics.  I definitely think I could spend time there every year, though the issue of being able to feel rooted there would remain to be seen.

Flagler College, Saint Augustine, Florida

Interestingly my older brother mentioned that when he and his wife first toured the small town where they live they “just knew” that was the place they wanted to spend the rest of their lives.  Now, after they have been there for five years they have indeed rooted in place and have an abundance of friends and acquaintances.  There are some reasons why that I think appeal to HSPs:

  • the town is small in population and has carefully managed its growth.  While much of Florida suffers from visual pollution in the form of high rise buildings on the beach this little town has consciously chosen to not allow buildings over four stories, thus preserving the more natural look.
  • the traffic is lighter and less aggressive than in many places.  This less stressful environment is innately good for sensitive people who would do better in less tense conditions.
  • the connection to nature is abundant.  One only needs to go to the beach and enjoy complete connection to relatively uncrowded beaches.  One is free to feel free.
  • the small population means there is the potential to develop strong connections with many people through community involvement of the type that suits you best. The more involved you are in the life of your community the more you will feel a sense of belonging.
  • the heat (and it is oppressively hot in Florida a number of months each year) encourages a slower pace of life.

As with any observation about HSPs one should not homogenize.  It is true that HSPs can do equally as well in a city with hustle and bustle if they choose that.  The key word is choose.  If one is there out of necessity it may be less pleasant or sustainable.

For those of us who are sensation seekers as well as sensitives the issue of place attachment may be a bit more complex as we continually seek out novel and new sensations.  Even the best place will be boring after one has thoroughly explored it.  I think for place attachment and sensitive sensation seekers the issue is more about place attachment to many places.  As a sensitive sensation seeker I can attest to the reality of a geographic fear of missing out on the next cool place.  Travel awakens us to the broader realities that exist in other places during which time we catch a glimpse of the true scope of amazing human beings that exist all around us.

What have been your experiences with finding a place where you can feel rooted?

Tracy Cooper

We are a nation of frequent movers, and yet a growing body of research shows that the more rooted we are in our communities, the better we feel and the more successful we’ll be, especially in times of crisis.

By Melody Warnick, published on July 5, 2016 – last reviewed on July 10, 2016

Illustration by Harry Campbell

The Excel spreadsheet that 40-year-old Ben Bristoll made as he was deciding where to move after living in upstate New York for 18 years was exhaustive. It catalogued 38 communities, cross-checked against the qualities Bristoll considered most vital: Low cost of living. Proximity of family. Number of vegan restaurants. Prevalence of Lyme disease.

For a while, Harrisonburg, Virginia, looked particularly promising. So did Burlington, Vermont. Then one January day, Bristoll found himself riding his bike on the greenways of Roanoke, Virginia, in weather warm enough for a T-shirt. Okay, you got me, Ben thought. He moved to town in 2012 and has had no regrets.

The idea that picking up and starting over somewhere fresh could lead to living happily ever after is a narrative many of us trust. Every year, around 12 percent of the nation’s population moves, largely for sensible, bank-account-enhancing reasons like a new job or a lower cost of living. As restless in employment as we are in geography, we switch workplaces about every four and a half years, chasing new gigs around the country. And recent college graduates are more likely than previous generations to pick the place they want to live and find a job once they get there.

There’s a growing sense, supported by new research, that geography influences all the basic facts of our lives, from income to relationships to physical health. Each of the five times I’ve moved cross-country, from Utah to Maryland to Utah to Iowa to Texas, and most recently to Blacksburg, Virginia, I’d had solid motives like jobs and schooling. Yet I’d also allowed myself to indulge the wild hope that somehow the new place would complete me. When it didn’t, at least not in the expected ways, I’d be crippled by geographic Fear of Missing Out, a vague dread that someplace better existed in the world and I didn’t live there. Clicking through Realtor.com listings was my mid-thirties suburbanite version of crystal meth—a filthy habit I couldn’t quit. “This is the last time,” I’d tell myself, and then I’d creep online again to ogle Victorians in Corvallis, Oregon or cut-rate bungalows in Lawrence, Kansas.

In imagining myself living anywhere but here, I was ignoring the fact that humans are instinctively driven to form connection with places. “To be rooted,” philosopher Simone Weil once wrote, “is perhaps the most important and least recognized need of the human soul.”

In 1947, the poet W. H. Auden coined the term topophilia—from the Greek topos, or “place”—to describe the sense of being connected to one’s environment.

Biologists, anthropologists, sociologists, and urban planners who study how and why we put down roots call this phenomenon place identity, geopiety, person-place bonding, environmental embeddedness, or at-homeness. I prefer the phrase place attachment, which suggests the affectionate, almost familial relationship that can form between a person and where he or she lives. It means feeling at home in a place.

Place attachment is emotionally satisfying because humans long for a sense of belonging. But it can also make life better. When we’re happy where we live and fond of the people who live around us, we’re less anxious, less likely to suffer heart attacks or strokes, and less likely to complain about ailments.

In a study conducted in Tokyo, elderly Japanese women who felt attached to their neighborhood were more likely to be alive five years later than were women who didn’t care one way or another about their communities. For women who liked where they lived and also interacted with neighbors, their chance of survival compared to more ambivalent residents increased by 6 percent.

Other research has linked place attachment to a general sense of well-being. Studies show that when you compare Stayers—long-term residents of a place—with chronic Movers, the Stayers are generally far more social. They’re more likely to volunteer or, say, help the environment by buying a habitat preservation license plate. A study by biologists and anthropologists at Harvard, Princeton, and Binghamton University found, unsurprisingly, that teens who didn’t move around a lot had more friends.

Loving the place we live benefits us, but being loved by residents is also vital for cities and towns. In a multiyear study, Gallup and the Knight Foundation, a nonprofit group that promotes community engagement, surveyed 26,000 residents of 26 American communities from Boulder, Colorado, to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, about how much they loved where they lived. The results revealed that even during the height of the Great Recession, the happier residents were with their town, the more the town prospered economically.

Researchers who measure place attachment don’t try to gauge the objective magnificence of a city—the majesty of its skyscrapers and public art or the leafy depths of its parks. That would be like measuring a couple’s love for each other by posting their photos on HotorNot.com. Instead, scientists study residents’ emotions by asking whether or not their town feels like home.

Gertie Moore, for instance, has lived all of her 72 years in unincorporated Lorado, West Virginia, shifting every few years a couple of houses closer to the highway where the coal trucks rumble past.

“You’ve lived on the same street your whole life?” I asked her.

“Yep. They named the road after me, because everybody knows Gertie.”

Moore is among the 37 percent of Americans who still live in their hometown, and as odd as that instinct seems to me, there is something noble in the way she presides over Lorado, surrounded by people to whom she’s made herself useful. She knows everyone in a 10-mile radius—the now-grown children who once rode her school bus, the neighbor she took to Walmart to buy fabric for quilting. And most of her extended family live nearby.

Illustration by Harry Campbell

In his book Who’s Your City? demographer Richard Florida divides people into three categories—the mobile, the stuck, and the rooted. “We tend to focus on the first two: the mobile, who can pick up and move to opportunity, and the stuck, who lack the resources to leave where they are,” Florida says. “But we cannot forget about the rooted—those who have the means and opportunity to move, but choose to stay.”

Forty years ago, when Moore was a young mother whose husband worked in the coal mines, a coal slurry dam collapsed a few miles up the hollow, unleashing a wall of viscous black water into the company towns below. The Buffalo Creek flood killed 113 people in the valley and washed away countless homes. And yet Moore never considered moving away. Her roots were too deep.

Staying is a hallmark of people who are place attached. When you’re truly rooted in your town, you’re not busy plotting the next move. You likely believe that where you live is the best possible spot for you. Local catastrophes, then, sometimes have the counterintuitive effect of cementing place loyalty into something fiercer and more protective.

I was living in Iowa on April 16, 2007, when a student named Seung-Hui Cho shot and killed 32 Virginia Tech University students and faculty members on a sunny spring morning in Blacksburg, Virginia. Before the incident, which was the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history, I had never heard of the town. Afterward everyone had heard of Blacksburg; the tragedy defined the community outside its borders. Years later, when we told people that my husband was taking a job at Virginia Tech, the incident was the first thing they mentioned. Some feared for our saftey.

And yet, I’d been told by people who had lived in Blacksburg then that the violence of April 16 had fostered a sense of collectiveness and connection. Residents were more tender with each other. “You could be at the grocery store and somebody would burst into tears, and everyone understood why, and somebody would give them a hug,” one friend has told me.

Many towns have endured tragedies, but the devastation is often mitigated by the effects of place attachment. After a nuclear reactor exploded in Chernobyl, Ukraine, in April 1986, emitting 400 times the radiation released by the Hiroshima atomic bomb, area residents were ordered to evacuate—forever. More than 130,000 left and never returned, as their 12th-century village decayed into a ghost town of weeds and lingering toxicity.

And yet a few hundred residents—mostly elderly women, or babushkas in Russian—defied official orders and returned to live as subsistence farmers. Ostensibly, everything in the 19-mile exclusion zone around Chernobyl was poison. Officials warned against eating the carrots and radishes the women planted in their own backyards or drinking the milk that came from their goats and cows. The babushkas did so anyway, having decided they’d rather live five happy years near the graves of their ancestors than 10 miserable ones in a sterile Kiev high-rise.

Illustration by Harry Campbell

Holly Morris, director of the documentary The Babushkas of Chernobyl, heard the women explain their philosophy this way: “If you leave, you die. All those who left died.” And in fact, anecdotal evidence accumulated about Chernobyl residents who had agreed to relocate only to pass away within a few years, much sooner than those who had returned. There’s been no official count, and exposure to radiation would be a key variable for both groups, but the people who moved back to the exclusion zone believe they are outliving their uprooted former neighbors by some 10 years. The babushkas explained to Morris that the transplants were “dying of sadness.”

Up against the powerful emotions of place attachment, logic and probability hold little sway. In one study of 700 low-income women who moved to new cities after Hurricane Katrina, Penn State sociologist Corina Graif found that the neighborhoods they had relocated to boasted higher median family income, more employed people, and lower poverty than the ones they left. And yet one field study of Ninth Ward residents who evacuated to Houston after Katrina found that more than half preferred to return to New Orleans afterward, despite the larger city’s demonstrably better quality of life;  69 percent of this group agreed with the statement, “New Orleans is home.”

The connections that make a city home can save lives during disasters. While studying the tsunami that killed more than 18,000 people in Japan in March 2011, Daniel Aldrich, a professor of political science, public policy, and urban affairs at Northeastern University and the author of Building Resilience, found that in most parts of the country, some 40 minutes elapsed between the undersea earthquake and the arrival of 30-foot waves. Yet death rates in the 133 affected coastal cities, towns, and villages varied from zero to almost 10 percent.

To explain the disparity, Aldrich and Yasuyuki Sawada, a University of Tokyo economics professor, looked at factors like the average age of residents, the presence of seawalls, and the height of the tsunami when it hit land. Ultimately, though, those physical elements couldn’t account for the varying survival rates. What did? Each town’s level of social capital.

Forty minutes was enough time for the able-bodied to travel the two or three kilometers from the lowest houses near the ocean to the highest point in town. But it was not always enough time for the sick, elderly, infirm, disabled, or wheelchair-bound to do so. Individuals from these groups who survived told Aldrich’s team that a friend, neighbor, caregiver, or family member aided them. That implied two things: First, someone knew that a disabled person lived in a certain house and needed help. “If you don’t know someone is there, you’re not going to bother knocking,” Aldrich says.

Second, the helper was willing to endanger his or her own life to save someone else’s. No one knew how soon the tsunami would crash into the shore. Ferrying an elderly or disabled person uphill requires time. Most people wouldn’t bother unless they had an existing social connection strong enough to merit that kind of consideration. “You can’t build that during the disaster,” Aldrich says. “You have to do this before the disaster strikes.”

Aldrich calls this the Mr. Rogers approach to disaster preparedness and recovery—“Won’t you be my neighbor?” The effects have been visible in other places. The communities that recovered fastest after Superstorm Sandy walloped the East Coast in 2012 had the strongest social resources before the storm—measured as a combination of place-attachment factors like social cohesion, helping behaviors, and trust.

Illustration by Harry Campbell

Any infrastructure that promotes social connection can enhance this kind of community resilience, Aldrich says—wide front porches that invite extended communal rocking, shared gathering spaces like parks, and greenbelts where neighbors can cross paths. So can simple social behaviors like attending community festivals, joining a neighborhood knitting club, or worshiping at the same synagogue every week. Such solutions are relatively easy and inexpensive, and Aldrich argues that they’re as essential as building seawalls.

To foster attachment, your town doesn’t need to be the platonic ideal of a city, just as you don’t have to be particularly gorgeous, clever, or wealthy to love and be loved by others. You can adore a town that everyone else hates and still accrue the physical, emotional, and social benefits of place attachment. Your town just has to make you happy. When it does, you want to stay.

According to anthropologist Setha Low and psychologist Irwin Altman, both pioneering place-attachment researchers, place attachment is emotion and belief combined with action or behavior. It’s the way we imbue places with meaning and memory. And it’s a process. Learning this after I moved to Blacksburg suggested to me that loving my town, and feeling more rooted, here and now, was something I could do. Simple things like walking more, getting to know my neighbors, volunteering, and exploring nature could increase how at home I felt.

Loving where you live may not be as paramount in the grand scheme of happiness measures as, say, a terrific marriage, a job you adore, or a positive relationship with your teenager. Yet marriages and jobs and child rearing all happen somewhere. They belong to a particular place. For good or ill, places form the landscape of our daily lives, and it makes sense that becoming more satisfied with the where of your life could have positive trickle-down effects for the who, what, and how.

My childhood friend Jen, who as an Army wife knows a thing or two about moving, told me, “It is an incredibly conscious decision to love where you live. I have seen so many families become miserable because they hate where they are when they move to a new place. You have to choose to love it.”

I chose yes.

How To Love The Place You Live

BEFRIEND YOUR NEIGHBORS. One study found that people who felt connected to their neighbors reported more positive emotions, fewer physical ailments, and fewer daily stressors.

EAT LOCAL FOOD. Of residents who join a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture), shop at a farmers’ market, or buy produce from a locally owned store, 77 percent rate their community as “excellent” or “good.” Only 64 percent of conventional shoppers agree.

WALK MORE. Walking is the most effective way to develop your sense of local geography—and former car commuters who start walking to work experience as great a happiness boost as if they’d gotten a raise or fallen in love.

VOLUNTEER. Among similar communities, those with more nonprofit groups maintained lower unemployment rates during the recession. volunteerism and philanthropy may increase place attachment, making people more likely to invest, spend, and hire locally.

Adapted from THIS IS WHERE YOU BELONG: The Art and Science of Loving the Place You Live by Melody Warnick, published by Viking, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright © 2016 by Melody Warnick.

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Facebook image: Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock


Tracy Cooper, Ph.D. is the author of Thrive: The Highly Sensitive Person and Career and the forthcoming book Thrill: The High Sensation Seeking Highly Sensitive Person.

One thought on “Right Where You Belong (response)

  1. This is very interesting. For most of my life I craved a sense of rootedness to a place. But I was a third culture kid– my parents belonged to a different culture than the one I lived it. That coupled with multiple immigrations and work related moves meant rooting to a place or a community was something that forever alluded me.

    For the last year and a half or so I started an aromatherapy based meditation that is focused on the root chakra. This helped me so much with feeling rooted, grounded and managing overstimulation that I started teaching it in my local community.

    What I have realized through this experience is that a sense of rootedness can be aided by a connection with a place but is not necessary. My rootedness comes from practicing the emotional experience of rooting. Once I richly connect to that emotional experience (via the meditation) coming back to it in everyday life is very easy. I can now root myself wherever I am and wherever I go. I wish the same for other HSPs. It is so possible.


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